Holmer Green FC Res 2-1 Flackwell Heath FC Res
By Gareth Williams
Holmer progress to next round in cup derby
Flackwell accuse Gat of fingering Team sheet
An overcast day met the two teams as they waited to do battle in the High Wycombe derby. Flackwell arrived with the mind games by warming up in the usual home team section. Sam Pettyfer the returning centre half arrived with 4 stella and a bottle of Ouzo. Bonjour.
Gat was strengthened by the inclusion of a number of the allied team including Ben Hodges who has made a number of appearances for the first team and also the return of Martin Lancaster and goalscorer extraodinaire Oli. There was also a welcome reserve debut for winger Ryan Wilmott.
Assistant Manager Paul Lindsay made his return to the dug out this week, with him he brought tales of the world, stories of wonder and a new Bobby Charlton hair do. I did ask Linds for his take on the season so far but his reply was merely “To be fair I think Gat has covered it all.”
Holmer took to the field as a unit and utterly dominated the early proceedings, as such there were early rumblings of helmetry coming from the visitors dug out as they mentioned the lack of a team sheet and accused Gat of fingering his players. Harsh that, merely accusations. As Gat puts it “all motivation is good motivation.”
The issue over the last couple of games is when Holmer are on top they fail to capitalise and this was an early theme in this game as Richie headed over from yards away and Scotty hacked a left foot effort well wide. This brought a huge outburst from Lindso which included “What the f***. I had dreads and Reebok pumps the last time that useless f*** scored.”
The deadlock however was broken moments later as centre midfielder Curtis Stone turned his marker around 30 yards out and whacked it into the top corner. Cue absolute bedlam as Curtis wheeled away in ecstasy and dived into the Agile Scaffolding stand where he shadow boxed with Don and bared his arse to the Flackwell fans. A celebration to match the goal.
Holmer were well on top until half time and wave after wave of attack followed, it really shows up the difference in the leagues between Hellenic and Spartan. However don’t mention that to local rivals Penn, as they will tweet the FA about the various levels in football and needing floodlights etc. Oh and they have the best pitch in world football. Apparently they have a new pitch.
At half time Gat asked for calm and stated he wanted his side to carry on biting at the opposition and keep the intensity from the first half. Linds was asked his thoughts “In fairness I think Gats covered it.” Cheers Linds, on to the second half.
It didn’t quite start as scripted as Flackwell started to carve out some chances, Macca was forced off at half time and as such Holmer had started to lose some ground in midfield. Flackwell took advantage of this and applied more pressure. The visitors forced a free kick around 40 yards from goal which after a scramble Mikey Benning continued his goal scoring form by hammering one past the stricken Dan Little. 1-1.
This sparked some life back into the home side, with right winger Ryan Wilmott causing all kinds of problems for their left back and creating chances for Oli and Ben Hodges. It was 2-1 on the hour mark when Ben Hodges slammed in from the edge of the area, that was exactly what the Flackwell bench needed to start accusing Holmer of playing ineligible players and hiding the team sheet etc. Check the teamsheet and see if there is a player under the name of “arsed.”
Richie Wallace then executed one of the best 5 minutes in reserve team football. The dominant centre half was sent for a hot dog by the Flackwell striker, then missed another straight forward header and to top it off Richie was absolutely smoked by their centre midfielder. This incident sparked a bit of a brawl which involved the two benches and all 22 players. Despite the fact their player had stuck in a potential leg breaking tackle they called for a red card for Richie, bellendry of the highest order.
Richie was forced to leave the pitch and was replaced by the returning Samma who had warmed himself up by knocking back some refreshers and some Haribo. Holmer Green closed the game out superbly and never let Flackwell get even a sniff of goal in the last twenty minutes, frankly Flackwell will likely now spend the next weeks picking bits of Holmer Green out of their ring pieces.
A deserved win and a place in the next round of the cup for Holmer. Gat didn’t say a lot after the game which confused Lindso who just chimed in with “not a lot to say there boys, well done.” Gat was last seen running his steely blade of tactical mastery under the tap, its dripping in blood. Flackwell Blood.
MOM – Ryan Wilmott & DOD – Richard Wallace
Match report - Graham Potts