Pitstone & Ivinghoe FC 2 - 6 Holmer Green FC
By Gareth Williams
The Reserves end 2015 on a high!
Pitstone 2 v 6 Holmer Green
Saturday 12th December the long journey out to Pitstone for our last scheduled fixture prior to the Christmas break. Coming hot on the heels of a fantastic hard fought win against Totternhoe in which the helmet o meter was turned up to the max on the sidelines it was a pleasant surprise to be playing a team of normal people. The only issue that we encountered this week was Gats reading of a map, 2.05pm and the reserve team is stood outside the wrong Pitstone ground wondering why we have no team to play and considering an early break for the bar, rumours of Sam Pettyfer taking the option seriously have been played down by his legal representatives, speaking of legal issues Mick Little had a week long tussle with the authorities who are investigating his current situation just to get permission to leave Holmer Green.
Holmer made a number of changes from their travel to Totternhoe in the cup with Scotty Marshall debuting in the centre of midfield, Mikey moving up top, Stu coming in at left wing and Samma returning to central defence alongside Sean Cahill. That left a bench of Ads, Pabs, Woj, Mason and Mick which caused an issue in its self with Mick having to sit at least one foot away from Mason at all times.
Kick off had to be delayed after a mix up with the keys to the officials dressing room and the jamming of the door closed. A back door was sort and a number of attempts were made to open it, up stepped Mick who had no qualms in relieving some of his pent up aggression on the officials back door. Mick was seen to be effortlessly pounding away with absolutely no sense of let up until he was relieved by someone with a wrench who put the window through. Game on.
The game started with Holmer absolutely on top of their opposition and a number of shots going close to opening the scoring, Mikey & Macca both going close early on. A break against play almost saw the home team nick the lead but a great reaction save from Dan Little prevented the luscious locks of the number 9 from scoring. Holmer took the lead soon after when a cross from Sam was met by Stu who placed it perfectly into Mikeys stride for him to smash passed the keeper. Within seconds of the restart it was two nil, Ryan Williams taking on two before rolling it back to Hodges who trickled one goal wards which the keeper spilled straight into his own net.
At this point it was all Holmer and things were going completely to plan. Paul Lindsay who was unable to attend the fixture due to a stag do in Guatemala was eagerly awaiting the updates, however with the rate the goals were flying in he was going to need to buy some more usage. 3-0 Scotty Marshall playing in his new central midfield role and looking like a slightly more sprightly Stewart Downing, delivered a wonderful corner that whipped straight into the net.
The subs bench erupted, 3-0 after half an hour and it was a truly wonderful performance, Andy Stephens spoke to Pablo about how he once used a knitting needle, cotton wool and some e45 cream to bring himself to some painful ecstasy, Ads got in Gats ear about an early sub, Mason was taking sweets from Mick Little and Woj told tales of how many trips to Jimmys world buffet he would have that night. For the record he claimed it would be 4, the last time he had a beer he threw up in the barmaids face and that was from a skip sandwich.
Speaking of 4, out on the pitch it was soon 4-0. Another skilful run down the wing from Ryan Williams resulted in a pull back to Sam Parry who perfectly delivered a ball for Mikey to smash passed the keeper on the volley. At this point everything he touched turned to Gold, not normally the case with Mikey unless its that rubbish gold which turns green and costs about £1.50 down the market. On the other hand, most things that Mick Little touches turn in to an expensive lawsuit.
The scoring for the half was not complete. When Sean Cahill isn’t threatening to defecate on a players chest or demanding to play up front he is playing through balls from the centre of defence, which is what he did here finding Mikey in acres of space and leaving him to place the ball passed the onrushing goalie to make it 5-0. Mikey with a first half hat trick.
The half time team talk cautioned that whilst 5-0 up this game was far from over and that we could not let our standards slip, Mikey was to keep running as hard as he had been and anyone not feeling up to it should notify the bench immediately so that changes can be made.
Within minutes of the restart it was 6-0, a cross from Ryan Williams who was terrorising his left back was met by Mikey who lashed it into the back of the net. 6-0 away at rivals Pitstone was not what was expected in the lead up. Subs were then made with Sam making way for Pablo, Mick replacing Martin, Mason on for Stu and Ads taking Maccas place in midfield.
With the volume of changes being made Holmer ended up on the back foot and Pitstone managed to pull two goals back in quick succession with a mix up at the back allowing the first and the second coming from a long ball which was arrowed into the roof of the net by the striker. Holmer took a couple of minutes to get themselves re adjusted to the game and to start playing some football and when they did so they nearly made it 7-2. Pablo strutted passed two tackles, found Ryan out on the right who beat his marker and unleashed a strike from right out on the touch line which had the keeper at full stretch to keep it out.
The rest of the game petered out with the dark closing in, Holmer closed the game out keeping things as they were and confidently set themselves up for the festive period and some fun on the lagers.
MOM – Mikey Benning
DOD – Gat