Buckingham Athletic FC Res 1-4 Holmer Green FC Res
By Gareth Williams
Holmer beat league leaders
Saturday 23rd January. Judgement Day. Holmer Green ran into title rivals Buckingham Athletic away at their own patch. Holmer Green travelled with a strong squad that was strengthened with the omission of Mick Little and the return of superstar attacker Thomas Llewelyn Malcolm Fifield from ACL injury. Fresh off 6 weeks without a game the Greens were desperate to get back out on the field and as Club Captain Sam Pettyfer put it “we are desperate to glove up and blast.”
This game also saw the return of resident referee Greeny after a drawn out transfer tussle with Hillingdon which saw Greeny arrive for the princely sum of two jammy dodgers and a wham bar. Paul Lindsay returned to the dug out for his first appearance since Sept 2005, not even a cat toy could stand in his way this week. Kieran Webb is still missing, any information regarding his whereabouts would be helpful, he was last spotted frantically swiping right whilst at an over 60’s night.
Holmer Green started extremely brightly and within the first few minutes had forced a nervous looking home goalkeeper into a number of difficult moments. Mikey who had shown all the cutting edge of a damp dish cloth in his opening attempts on goal finally broke the deadlock when he rounded the opposition goalie and lashed the ball into the empty onion bag. Spuds then remarked on the sideline that he had never visited google without finding himself with an empty onion bag.
The Greens continued to push forward and it wasn’t long before it was 2-0, Mikey took four or five swipes at a one on one before realising the better option was to lay the ball off to an on rushing Hodges to place into the bottom corner. Pandemonium ensued on the touchline as Linds took off down the line to celebrate with the lads, it was like watching Mourinho celebrating at Old Trafford, minus the lovely jacket and the knee slide.
Moments later it should have been a penalty when Sean Cahill was bundled over in the box, the ref had a shocker there as the foul looked like Cahill was crowd surfing at his favourite Hanson gig. No trouble anyway, as the next corner was met by the flying boot of Sean Cahill and Holmer were away and clear. No idea what was said by the bench at this point but Spuds was overheard commenting “That has left an image in my mind of them naked on all fours literally being done doggy style.”
Buckingham managed to get a foothold in the game with a well taken goal that was smashed passed Dan Little in goal. Dan had an awful lot to say after the event, but Ive been told to tone it down a bit so will just leave it to your imagination.
Holmer stomped into half time with a commanding lead and well on top in the game, a half time cup of tea for the well travelled support, 3 custard creams for Seymour and the application of some gloves for Samma. Lindso gave an emotional half time talk, where he mentioned howhis early teens liberal application of Brylcreem had ruined his late 20’s, he then made his final point 4 separate times.
Gat took his time with his team talk and used it to be philosophical. “The thing is here lads, no one is dispensable in my book, we are one big organism, one big animal. You guys here are like the mouth, the guys out there the hands.” It was put to Gat, what part he was “Good question. Probably the humour.”
The second half didn’t start quite how we had hoped with a lot of the lads either baffled at Gats talk or emotionally distressed at Linds tales of misfortune. Buckingham had a couple of half chances which flashed passed the post but never really threatened again, whilst at the opposite end Mikey was doing his best to get Buckingham Windows some local work by smashing balls into nearby back yards.
A number of changes were made by Gat, with Hodges, Mason, Ryan, Martin and Sam all exiting and being replaced by Pabs, Ollie, Nigel, Stu & Malcolm Fifield all coming on. It was one of the subs who managed to make it 4-1 when Ollie brought down an equisite long ball from midfield with a deft touch and knocked it passed the on rushing keeper.
The game ran out 4-1 with Holmer absolutely rampant and surely in the box seat over the next few weeks. Every player put in great performances but special mentions have to go to Sean Cahill and Macca who put in absolutely huge performances and put the team on their backs through the tougher periods. MOTM would obviously go to one of those two players and it turned out to be Sean as Linds discredited Maccas performance. DOTD goes to Nigel who managed to get himself booked for subbing himself on.